Bad Teacher

I am not a natural teacher. I'm pleased when my students come in late because it means there's less time that I have to teach for and I get annoyed with them when they come back from break actually on time. I find it nearly impossible to come up with a smooth transition between topics, can barely keep a group discussion going for more than a couple minutes and I am too sensitive to a group's collective bored sighs and blase looks. The one time I had to teach a pre-intermediate class (which was really beginner but called so to make them feel better for not being able to advance higher despite the years they've spent at that level) I almost had to choke back tears when a student interrupted me midsentence with a finger in my face "Excuse me!", then he turned to the class "Does anyone understand her?". There was a ghastly silence and blank faces stared back at me. He turned to me again, "We don't understand you, so you have to speak more slower and more clearer" in an accusatory tone, hate seething out of his eyeballs as if I had been sent there at 8:00 in the morning to ruin his day and was personally responsible for all his linguistic failings.
I specifically chose to teach adults, I wouldn't even consider children, and now I'm wondering if that may have been a mistake. The adult mind has a harder time learning a language, this is a fact, so inevitably in every class there is someone who demands to know 'WHY?!' the verb becomes pluralized when talking about the first person in the present tense, WHY?! it is necessary to drop the 'who' when making a reduced relative clause and HOW?! are you supposed to know when the word ends in -ence instead of -ance. Children just accept that your word is golden. They don't question you but on the occassion that they do "Because it just is" is an acceptable explanation. Tell that to a frustrated 40-something and they throw their hands up, they roll theirs eyes, they slump in their chairs and they say something in Spanish that I can tell would be mildly offensive if I knew what they were saying.
Needless to say, teaching adults is strange, especially when you're markedly younger than your students. There's a dichotomoy of how much respect I should expect from them and how much I should give them. For instance, I can't tell if they're trying to be respectful or if they just can't remember my name, but I find it uncomfortable when they call me 'teacher' and no matter how many times I ask them to call me Alex they don't. On the other hand there are some students who give me no respect and it's really awkward when they're talking over me and the rest of the class is straining to hear me.
Even more strange, I have some classes that once congregated, quickly descend back into childhood. An example:
"Teacher, may I go to the bathroom?"
"Yes, of course, you don't have to ask and please, don't call me teacher."
"Okay, I'll be right back."
"While we wait for Estevan to get back why don't we talk about what we did this past weekend."
(Sustainable chatter for about 8 minutes, then Estevan walks back in and another student asks)
"Estevan! You were gone for so long, did you go number 2?!"
(Class descends into raucous laughter, borderline hysteria)
"Yes I did! I went number 2! Teacher, do you know what number one and number two is?"
"Yes, we have the same sayings in English."
"I had to sit on the toilette for so long!"
(People start gasping for breath from laughing too hard) .

I get the sense that the people who worked a little too hard during highschool are the ones who throw fits and huff and puff their way through my English classes because they can't stand not knowing the ins and outs of something. While the students who took it a bit easier are today's jokesters, and they're just so much more fun to be in a room with for a couple of hours.
So even though I'm not the best teacher I probably don't give myself enough credit. The hours are rough and the planning takes forever and sometimes I feel uncomfortable, sometimes my feelings are hurt and sometimes I just couldn't be bothered but I care about keeping them interested and I care about their progress. If that's not good enough for them then I'll just make fun of them on my blog.