Jardin ZOOLOGICO

I heard a lot of things about the Buenos Aires zoo but they all fit into one of two categories: 'The best zoo ever' and 'the worst zoo in the world'. Going in there today I was expecting some sort of middle ground conclusion but I realized it depends on whose eyes you're looking through.

Through my eyes I couldn't help but be immediately put off by the grouchy old crank covered in guano who greets you as you walk in. He wields a venomous scorpion on his arm and his ape looks like he's suffered a history of abuse.

Nutria (better known as water rats where I come from) run rampant throughout the entire park, pester the birds and take food from animal enclosures and the hands of children alike as their parents chuckle adoringly. Another species also runs wild with the nutria but I have no idea what they are, some sort of cross between a dwarfed deer and a rabbit.

I never knew what a depressed polar bear would look like before today. In temperatures that reach into the high 90s and without any enrichment toys he just lays in his enclosure looking bored and defeated, occasionally sighing to turn his face away from the crowd.

Anyway, the unique thing about the BsAs Zoo is that it sells bags and bins of animal feed that are edible to almost all the animals in the park. There are two things that I object to concerning this: children immediately turn into manic depressives as soon as their parents buy the animal feed, full of love and laughing contagiously when they're throwing these pellets at the elephants, gazelles, goats, ducks, monkeys, etc. However, as soon as the parent takes them away or the pellets run out, their demeanor totally switches; tears flow like rivers and screams that can be heard above the roar of the city are thrown up.

The second thing I object to is the throwing of food at the animals, for two reasons. Firstly, I can't believe that there is a formula of animal feed that is equally beneficial to water rats and ducks as it is to elephants and camels. Secondly, there is something so depressingly degrading about watching an enormous elephant bend down precariously on its front haunches and fully extend itself to suck up some pellets. Or the way the goats protrude their heads through the bottom slat of their fence to beg for food. As you walk by you have to keep a foot away from the fence because they hear you coming and before you know it you've tripped over a disembodied goat head.
To me all these things seem like irresponsible zoo-keeping, especially the water rats. But then to a child I realize it must be the most amazing place on earth. The park is small but packs in a lot of species, there's a boat that putters about a lagoon in the Asian part of the zoo, there's an amazing play area called "Magical Children Land" and best of all you can interact with exotic animals and vermin alike. Goats clamour for a spot close to you to snatch up food, camels stare at you expectantly, monkeys look for a way to get off their island and closer to the pellets, and elephants dance for you. Through the eyes of a child I can hardly deny that this would be the best zoo in the world.

Jardin Zoologico: subte Plaza Italia