One of the annoying things about travel writing and travel writers in general is that there seems to be an unwritten rule: if it's new to you and if it's not American then it's got to be the most amazing thing you've heard/seen/done that day. Well no, not always and sorry if this offends some but I've seen Hell and it's called El Caminito, and you can find it in the La Boca barrio in Buenos Aires.
Do I regret going there? No, because I'd heard so many other traveler's tales (traveler's like the ones described above who love(!) everything indiscriminately) about how interesting it is, how it's a must-see, you can't leave without stopping by. If I hadn't stopped by I always would've thought I'd missed out on something fantastic. It may of taken many years, but that sort of stuff irks me so I would've made a concerted effort to go there again, and imagine how pissed I would've been! I would've spent years being bothered that I'd never gone there when I had the opportunity to and all for nothing because it's not even worth driving by, much less walking through! I can't express how relieved I am to have avoided that scenario.
Anyway, let me explain to you what El Caminito is. It's like an attraction at Epcot that ran away from home in Florida knowing that there was something bigger and better for it, a whole wide world for the taking! But then it got in with a bad crowd, one thing led to another and before Caminito knew it she was hooked on the bad stuff and started turning tricks to make enough to get the next fix and keep her pimp at bay. It has that kind of a seedy, desperate, heavy veneer to it.
The buildings in this 4 block area are all painted in different vibrant block colors, and in photos it does look rather endearing. In photos. What photos don't capture is the line of waiters that lay in wait on either side of the street, literally ready to pounce on you as soon as you step into their territory. As you wander down the center of the street looking up at the buildings people swoop in on you, thrusting flyers in your face advertising this bar or that restaurant or heckling you: "AMERICA!!! Come have a coffee here! Nice tables! I love AMERICA! Or are you English? ENGLAND!"
Once you successfully weave your way through the vulture-esque waiters you start to notice these creepy looking mannequins on all the balconies and in the windows (see the picture above). I took a closer look just now and I'm pretty sure most of them were dressed as old-timey prostitutes.
Then, to make matters worse, you soon notice that the majority of store fronts are all souvenir shops of the worst sort. They sell the crappiest stuff, stuff that only appeals to people who grew up in transportable houses. Shot glasses, thongs emblazoned with "LA BOCA" in gold letters, mugs/mini license plates/dog tags with the Spanish version of your name, clay ashtrays and other things that really have nothing to do with Argentina other than that they have "Argentina!" written on them.
The area of El Caminito has a genuine history behind it that is completely lost and forgotten in this tourist trap from hell which only makes the entire area even more depressing to visit. If you ever go to Buenos Aires, please, save yourself the hassle of getting to El Caminito because it sucks.
I do agree. I Hated the place with my entire soul.
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